How do I know if the kind of foreplay we’re trying is right?
Does it feel good to you?  To your partner?  Some time when you’re not having sex or about to have sex, let your partner know that you’d like to talk about your sex life.   Specifically, say you’re curious about what types of foreplay your partner likes: Kissing? Massage? Oral sex? Toys? Additional clues can be found by paying close attention to how your partner responds during sexual play. Does he or she moan with pleasure more often when
you’re engaged in certain types of foreplay?

Can foreplay make it easier for a woman to orgasm?
Yes, yes and heck ya! Although not all women orgasm during intercourse, those that do often find that spending time in sexually exciting and arousing types of foreplay can make it easier for them to orgasm during intercourse. Some even find that spending more time in foreplay, building arousal, can make it easier for them to have multiple orgasms during sex.  Although having an orgasm can be a lot of fun and quite satisfying, try to not focus too much on it as a goal. Rather, try to focus on pleasure and enjoyment as part of the sexual experience.

Try  This:

• Kiss with your clothes on for at least 10 or 20 minutes or until you both feel extremely turned on.

• Lie in bed and talk for 30 minutes to an hour, with your clothes on, and kiss each other every now and then on the  forehead, lips, cheeks or neck.

• Dance together in the kitchen.

• Use a vibrator on low speed on the inner thighs and lower stomach

• Use a massage cream to  massage each other’s back, legs or feet (note: if you are using latex condoms, avoid oil-based massage products; the residue on your hands could cause the condoms to break).

• Use a flavored product like Dust Me Pinkin five places on your body. Have your partner locate them with his/her tongue.

• Take turns reading a favorite passage from Tickle His Pickle or Tickle Your Fancy to each other.

All of the smell – goody products that you load on every morning only wash away or cover up your natural odor that attracts the opposite sex.

Pheromones are a chemical substance that is produced by all mammals. They have one purpose: to serve as a stimulus to other individuals of the same species. They are considered our natural attraction system to perpetuate the human race. When researchers talk about the “menstrual synchrony” of female friends, or perfume ads tout the animal “essence” injected into Musk perfumes to attract the opposite sex, pheromones are what they’re talking about.

In human studies by the Athena Institute for Women’s Wellness Research, it was found that when placebos were used against pheromones, “there was a tendency for the pheromone users to experience an increase in petting, affection, kissing, and the number of informal dates pursued.”

According to Athena, male pheromones (androstenol/androstenone) from sweat have direct impact on female menstrual cycles and ovulation. And it also works the other way around. “Female pheromones influence the male perception of females and may induce hormonal changes.” Meaning, that the more pheromone that men are exposed to, the more likely they will be attracted to that specific female.

To illustrate this point ABC News conducted it’s own informal test. They placed sets of identical twins (with as many variables controlled as possible) at a popular New York City bar. One member was given an unscented pheromone spray and the other plain witch hazel. The subjects were told, “not to make the first move.” The sister wearing the pheromones was approached by 30 men compared to the non-pheromone sister who was only approached by 11.

Even the esteemed American Medical Association’s “Psychiatric Annals” journal has confirmed the power of these sex attractants.

Clinical Sexologist Dr. Patty Fawver says the issue is more complex, “Attempting to cover up our natural scent is simply a reflection of our larger dissatisfaction with our bodies. Most women use these products in excess because subconsciously they feel uncomfortable with the way they smell. When women can develop an acceptance and even an appreciation of the realities of their natural body odor it can become an important part of accepting the whole self.”

So the next time your dousing yourself in Chanel or suds-ing up with the latest Bath and Bodyworks scent, think about what you might really be covering up.

Bananas – Begging for More
No, it’s not just the suggestive shape — the healthy doses of potassium and B vitamins in bananas help boost the production of important sex hormones.

Oysters-Running for the Door

It’s a myth! This sensual food has been credited for increasing men’s libido due to high levels of iodine and zinc — iodine can help boost respiration and body temperature, and zinc boosts testosterone. In fact, a team of American and Italian researchers recently found that mussels, clams, and oysters deliver two types of amino acids that spark a rush of sex hormones. But in order for it to work, a guy has to eat at least 50 oysters in one sitting, and nothing kills the mood like overeating shellfish.

Chocolate Covered Strawberries – Begging for More

This sexy combo isn’t just a Valentine’s Day gimmick. The phenyl ethylamine in chocolate releases the same hormone released during sex, and strawberries contain vitamin C, which helps libido. Plus, Italian researchers found that women who often eat chocolate have a higher sex drive than those who don’t. Just make sure the chocolate you’re using has at least 60 percent cacao for the maximum benefit.

Chili Peppers – Running for the Door

You might think that a food that makes you so hot and bothered would get you  ready to go, but there’s no research out there to suggest that chilies do anything for your libido.

Saffron – Begging for More
The luxuriant spice has been found to work as an antidepressant and a pain-blocker — both these effects can help calm any desire-killing storms. Saffron also contains picrocrocin, a chemical that makes your body more sensitive to the touch.  New addition to my grocery list!

Pomegranate – Begging for More

Pomegranate contains boatloads of antioxidants, which can help increase blood flow to all parts of the body, including the genitals.

Asparagus – Begging for More

It may not seem like a sexy veggie (considering it makes your pee smell), but asparagus is one of the oldest aphrodisiacs out there. And for good reason — asparagus is packed with vitamin E, which stimulates the production of sex hormones. Well, let’s get it on then.

Sirloin Steak – Begging for More

A 6-oz. sirloin is a fantastic source of protein, which boosts dopamine and norepinephrine, chemicals that heighten sensitivity. It’s also packed with zinc, which boosts libido by reducing the production of mood-killing prolactin.

Vanilla Ice Cream – Begging for More!

Not only has the scent of vanilla been found to put people in the mood, the calcium and phosphorus in the ice cream build muscles’ energy reserves, boost libido and make orgasms more powerful. Oh yeah!

Tomatoes – Running for the Door

They’re great for your heart, but tomatoes’ lycopene and phytofluene can decrease testosterone levels. The effect isn’t dramatic, but you may be better off skipping the marinara sauce if you want to get saucy.

According to a 1994 University of Chicago National Health and Social Life Survey, lack of interest in sex was the number one complaint of sexually active women of all ages. The reasons for a lowered sex drive can vary from person to person, but the following are the most common reasons:

Stress Stressful situations suck the sexual energy right out of you. Solution – try a massage as foreplay, it will help loosen you up and turn on the sexual feeling you’ve been pushing back.

Illness Snot and kleenex aren’t too sexy so just wait this one out. Your libido will come back when your fever goes down.  But more serious illnesses such as hypothyroidism, diabetes, cancer, heart and lung disorders, and STIs may also be responsible for the drop in your sex drive. If you suspect something more serious, make an appointment with your medical professional.

Medication Many prescription and over-the-counter drugs can decrease your sexual appetite.  Antidepressants,  medication for hypertension, psychotropic drugs, sedatives, opiates and even birth control pills can lessen your interest in sex or make reaching orgasm difficult. Solution – try increasing the amount of foreplay in your routine or using an arousal cream to increase blood flow to the clitoris (available at www.katiethepureromancelady.com of course)

Lifestyle Lifestyle changes are yet another form of stress, and even if they are positive ones, they can sometimes adversely affect your sex life.  Moving, changing jobs, make ups, break ups, babies and more can zap your lovin’ meter. Solution – try a foreplay game reconnect and focus on your sex life for an hour or so.

Aging While some studies have revealed that sexual responsiveness may get better with age, hormonal imbalances in perimenopausal and menopausal women lead to a diminished sex drive. Some women may experience an aversion to touch, and intercourse may be painful due to vaginal dryness caused by a drop in estrogen. Solution – using a water based lubricant and a vaginal moisturizer can greatly increase the pleasurable feeling of sexual activity.

Relationship Blues Temporary disinterest in your partner is normal. But if you’re finding  sexual desire is grounded for an extended period of time, it could be tied to relationship issues. If there’s tension or unhappiness in your relationship, it will eventually show up in your sex life.  Solution – you have got to get to the root issue before I can fix you with toys.  If boredom is problem, however, well I’ve got a few things for you…

Body ImageLearning to love your body is probably one of the greatest hurdles to developing a strong sense of sexuality. If you feel uncomfortable with your physical self, you may hide your body from your partner, which can lead to a slow down in sexual activity. Solution – figure out what it is about yourself that your partner loves. If he climbing the walls just seeing you touch yourself, make that the focus of your arousal.

Depression If you are depressed, sex will not be at the top of your agenda. Everyone experiences a bad day or two, but if those weeks turn into months, your depressed state will put your sexual interest on hold. Seek advice from your medical professional if your depression last more than a week or two.

Drugs and Alcohol Excessive consumption of drugs and/or alcohol may increase the quantity of your sexual encounters, but in the long run it can take its toll on your sex drive. Be aware if your drop in libido seems to correlate to an increase in alcohol or drug consumption.  The solution is pretty simple on this one, slow it down cowgirl/boy.  Bonus – you’ll remember the boots your knockin’

In addition,a healthy diet, the right amount of exercise and a daily dose of fresh air can help whet your sexual appetite. Allowing yourself to explore a new erotic desire or fantasy can spark new found interest in sex.

Sexual disinterest that stems from a physical problem, such as a hormone imbalance, or depression, may need to be treated with medication. Contact your healthcare provider for an exam and consultation.

For a personal consultation or girl’s night, give me a shout – I’m happy to help get your sex life back on the right page.

When Pure Romance asked Dr. Herbenick and Dr. Reece to design a big study, they took the challenge to
heart! More than 2,500 women were enrolled, making it by far the largest and most comprehensive study ever conducted on women’s use of personal lubricants.  Women who joined the study were asked to use one of six different lubricants during the study.
Three of these lubricants were Pure Romance products (Just Like Me, Sweet Seduction, and Pure
Pleasure) and the other three lubricants were mainstream brands that are widely available to
women in local stores.
The study was considered “double blind” meaning that neither the women participants nor the research team knew which woman was getting which lubricant. That way, no one’s bias would enter into the picture and the research team would get the most valid study results. During the 30-day study period, women were asked to use the “study
lubricant” whenever they had sexual activity (masturbation,partner play, vaginal sex, or anal sex)and to
complete online surveys about their sexual experiences and use of the lubricant. At the end o f the
study, tens of thousands of surveys had been completed by these women.

What We Learned
Lubricants and Pleasure -
The biggest take-home message from this study is that lubricants tended to make sex feel more pleasurable
and satisfying for women in the study (duh).  Lubricants are not just meant for women who experience vaginal dryness or other sexual difficulties. Lubricants can add to a woman’s sexual pleasure, and that of her partner, no matter a woman’s age or health status. This was also true for a wide range of sexual activities including masturbation, toy play, vaginal sex, and anal sex.

Lubricants and Safety-
Another important finding is that lubricants were generally highly safe for women to use. Reports of vaginal
pain, burning, itching, irritation, or tearing as a result of using lubricants were very rare. For example, of all the
times that women used Just Like Me, Sweet Seduction,or Pure Pleasure, they reported vaginal itching less than 2% of the time. Discomfort or pain was reported about 6 to 7% of the time – again, very low. Vaginal burning was also rare, and occurred only 3 to 4% of the time. This is great news for women who are curious about using a lubricant and who want to make sure that Pure Romance products are safe to use. The results of this study show that they are indeed safe for the vast majority of women to use without risk of irritation.

Comfort, Pleasure, and The Big “O”-
As a consultant, one of the most common benefits I hear from women is that using a lubricant can make sexual activity more comfortable. Knowing this among ourselves is one thing but many women ask whether there has ever been any research on these issues. Now, thanks to our study, there has!
Pure Romance has found that nine out of 10 (90%) women who used a Pure Romance lubricant felt that the lubricant made sex feel more comfortable. Plus, about 84% of women said that using these lubricants made sex feel more
pleasurable. Interestingly, about 60% reported an unexpected benefit – that using a lubricant made it easier
for them to have an orgasm. Overall, eight out of 10 (80%) women said that they would use Just Like Me,
Sweet Seduction, or Pure Pleasure again, and would recommend it to a friend.

Order Pure Romance Lubricants here

]]> http://www.katiethepureromancelady.com/wp_blog/the-lube-study/feed/ 0 http://www.katiethepureromancelady.com/wp_blog/get-your-scalpel-away-from-my-lady-parts/ http://www.katiethepureromancelady.com/wp_blog/get-your-scalpel-away-from-my-lady-parts/#comments Thu, 25 Jun 2009 18:29:02 +0000 Katie http://www.katiethepureromancelady.com/wp_blog/?p=36

Designa Vaginas are all the rage these days. With a 30 percent increase in vaginal reconstructive surgery over the past year, it seems as though everybody’s girly bits are getting a face lift.  Well, don’t jump on the pretty kitty bandwagon just yet.

“Female genital cosmetic surgery” is a term used for elective and medically unnecessary changes to a woman’s internal or external genitalia. The two major types are vaginoplasty and labiaplasty.  Sure,  some of the surgeries are for gender reassignment surgery and to fix vaginal birth defects or scarification from disease or injury, but many more are just to tighten up or to have “a more pleasing appearance.” Um…I’m pretty sure it’s a vagina and unless you’ve got an alien in your pants it’s probably good enough to get you laid.

More disturbing than the sheer absurdity of it, is that the safety and effectiveness of vaginal and vulval cosmetic surgeries has yet to be supported by solid scientific studies. Due to the lack of safety and efficacy data, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) has warned “vaginal rejuvenation” procedures are unproven and potentially risky. In getting tightened, tucked, or otherwise altered, women put themselves at risk for infection, scarring, nerve damage, pain, and altered or loss of sensation.  So you can’t feel anything, but at least it looks nicer, right? Can you ever imagine a man putting himself through surgery and possible life altering side effects  to make his member more aesthtically pleasing to the opposite sex?

Still, hundreds of women are flocking to have their genitalia resculpted, with some  cosmetic centers boasting waiting lists of up to 4-5 months. So what exactly are these women lining up for?

Vaginoplasty – Cosmetic vaginoplasty, or vaginal rejuvenation surgery, involves a variety of surgical procedures that alter the vagina.  Some doctors have been promoting this type of vaginal plastic surgery as a way to tighten and tone a woman’s vaginal muscles post-childbirth, namely by making the opening narrower and stronger, which is supposed to  improve the vagina’s appearance and boost sexual pleasure.  Hey know what else does the same thing?  Kegels.  15 minutes a day is all it takes, no scalpels involved.

Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation (LVR) – LVR is a procedure that tightens the vaginal canal, typically when the wall between the bladder and vagina or rectum and vagina has weakened. LVR  is now being promoted as the means to a pert, youthful vagina for better sensations during sex.  Second verse, same as the first- Kegels, Kegels, Kegels.  No cost and non – invasive. Unless, of course, a laser in your vagina sounds fun.

Labiaplasty – These procedures seek to change the external appearance – namely shape and size – of the vulva. With patients feeling self-conscious about their “ugly” vulva, and hence unable to enjoy sex because of this self-consciousness, labiaplasty are often done to “improve” the appearance of the vaginal lips. The women who pursue labiaplasty often believe that their inner lips are too large, e.g., protruding beyond the outer lips, or asymmetrical. This procedure is performed using a laser, scalpel or curved scissors, and involves a woman’s inner lips being cut and reshaped. Other forms of this procedure include removing body fat from another part of the body and transferring it to the outer labia. The result: a “more attractive and youthful” vulva.

Ladies all over the world repeat after me “My vagina is beautiful!” I recently asked a male friend of mine if he has ever met a vajayjay he hasn’t liked. His response (after the laughter subsided). “No, I can’t say that I have. ”

Ok, I’m sorry, but have you seen a penis laely? Not cute. Comparably, ladies. we’re doing ok.  And if you have run across someone who has led you to believe that you need non-medical reconstructive surgery on your vagina please know that he has a very small penis.

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Sensuality, Sexuality, Survival Foundation

The Challenge

Approximately 200,000 women a year are diagnosed with breast cancer in the United States alone (ACS).

Approximately 50% of women treated for breast cancer suffer from sexual dysfunction, sometimes up to five years after surgery or treatment (Fleming & Kleinbart, 2001).

Many women find the degree of support and information they obtained from their health care providers regarding their sexuality following breast cancer treatments to be lacking (Wilmoth, 2001)

The Mission

To help women recapture their sensual and sexual selves through education, empowerment, and safe product offerings designed specifically for women following cancer diagnosis and treatment.

The Pledge

Offer safe products to enhance women’s sexual experiences

Raise public awareness on intimacy and sexual challenges faced by women with breast cancer

Provide ongoing support through current literature and specially trained Pure Romance Consultants

Provide an ongoing support network for women and their partners

Develop and maintain programs to educate and support women living with breast cancer

If you are interested in hosting a fundraising party for SSS or any other charity or foundation, please contact me.

Premature ejaculation is defined as “the occurrence of ejaculation prior to the wishes of both sexual partners.” So, there is no set time limit. Nothing that states – if your fountain turns on after 2 minutes that’s ok, but less 1:59 and we’ve got an issue. That means a lot more men have the condition than you probably think. If your partner climaxes before you are ready, that can be classified as premature ejaculation. This is one of the most common sexual dysfunctions for men under 40 and some researchers think PE could affect one in three men. If PE occurs during more than 50% of sexual encounters, treatment may be an option.

There are many causes of PE, including:

• Being in repeated instances where a man may have hurried to climax (think junior high, don’t want to get caught wacking off)
• Anxiety/Stress
• Abnormal hormone levels
• Thyroid problems
• Infection of penis or urethra

If you are dealing with a serious issue that is causing realtionship problems or is affecting sexual satisfaction, it is important to contact your healthcare provider who can provide medical treatment or refer you to a sex therapist. Two techniques that are often recommended by sex therapists are The Squeeze Technique and Stop Start Technique.

Squeeze Technique
1. Engage in sexual activity as usual until he feels like he’s ready to pop
2. Have him squeeze the end of his penis where the head joins the shaft and maintain the squeeze until the urge subsides
3. Wait about 30 seconds and start again with foreplay, not intercourse
4.Repeat this several times before finally allowing him to orgasm

Stop Start Technique
1. A man should start masturbating with a dry hand (or you can do it for him if you want to play too)
2.Vary stroking technique to prolong orgasm
3. When he feels close, back off and start again as he feels further from ejacualtion
4. Do this a couple of times a week and as you find him taking longer to orgasm, move to manual stimulation with lubrication
5. You know what’s coming, right? Move to oral stimulation using the same technique and eventually intercourse
6. It’s important not to engage in intercourse until he is ready. Mixing the stop start technique with regular intercourse will not allow the training to work effectively!

If you’ve just got a sometimes issue or you simply want to try something new, try Time in a Bottle. It’s a prolonging cream made with benzocaine to help even out the playing field.

Happy Humping!