How do I know if the kind of foreplay we’re trying is right?
Does it feel good to you?  To your partner?  Some time when you’re not having sex or about to have sex, let your partner know that you’d like to talk about your sex life.   Specifically, say you’re curious about what types of foreplay your partner likes: Kissing? Massage? Oral sex? Toys? Additional clues can be found by paying close attention to how your partner responds during sexual play. Does he or she moan with pleasure more often when
you’re engaged in certain types of foreplay?

Can foreplay make it easier for a woman to orgasm?
Yes, yes and heck ya! Although not all women orgasm during intercourse, those that do often find that spending time in sexually exciting and arousing types of foreplay can make it easier for them to orgasm during intercourse. Some even find that spending more time in foreplay, building arousal, can make it easier for them to have multiple orgasms during sex.  Although having an orgasm can be a lot of fun and quite satisfying, try to not focus too much on it as a goal. Rather, try to focus on pleasure and enjoyment as part of the sexual experience.

Try  This:

• Kiss with your clothes on for at least 10 or 20 minutes or until you both feel extremely turned on.

• Lie in bed and talk for 30 minutes to an hour, with your clothes on, and kiss each other every now and then on the  forehead, lips, cheeks or neck.

• Dance together in the kitchen.

• Use a vibrator on low speed on the inner thighs and lower stomach

• Use a massage cream to  massage each other’s back, legs or feet (note: if you are using latex condoms, avoid oil-based massage products; the residue on your hands could cause the condoms to break).

• Use a flavored product like Dust Me Pinkin five places on your body. Have your partner locate them with his/her tongue.

• Take turns reading a favorite passage from Tickle His Pickle or Tickle Your Fancy to each other.

When Pure Romance asked Dr. Herbenick and Dr. Reece to design a big study, they took the challenge to
heart! More than 2,500 women were enrolled, making it by far the largest and most comprehensive study ever conducted on women’s use of personal lubricants.  Women who joined the study were asked to use one of six different lubricants during the study.
Three of these lubricants were Pure Romance products (Just Like Me, Sweet Seduction, and Pure
Pleasure) and the other three lubricants were mainstream brands that are widely available to
women in local stores.
The study was considered “double blind” meaning that neither the women participants nor the research team knew which woman was getting which lubricant. That way, no one’s bias would enter into the picture and the research team would get the most valid study results. During the 30-day study period, women were asked to use the “study
lubricant” whenever they had sexual activity (masturbation,partner play, vaginal sex, or anal sex)and to
complete online surveys about their sexual experiences and use of the lubricant. At the end o f the
study, tens of thousands of surveys had been completed by these women.

What We Learned
Lubricants and Pleasure -
The biggest take-home message from this study is that lubricants tended to make sex feel more pleasurable
and satisfying for women in the study (duh).  Lubricants are not just meant for women who experience vaginal dryness or other sexual difficulties. Lubricants can add to a woman’s sexual pleasure, and that of her partner, no matter a woman’s age or health status. This was also true for a wide range of sexual activities including masturbation, toy play, vaginal sex, and anal sex.

Lubricants and Safety-
Another important finding is that lubricants were generally highly safe for women to use. Reports of vaginal
pain, burning, itching, irritation, or tearing as a result of using lubricants were very rare. For example, of all the
times that women used Just Like Me, Sweet Seduction,or Pure Pleasure, they reported vaginal itching less than 2% of the time. Discomfort or pain was reported about 6 to 7% of the time – again, very low. Vaginal burning was also rare, and occurred only 3 to 4% of the time. This is great news for women who are curious about using a lubricant and who want to make sure that Pure Romance products are safe to use. The results of this study show that they are indeed safe for the vast majority of women to use without risk of irritation.

Comfort, Pleasure, and The Big “O”-
As a consultant, one of the most common benefits I hear from women is that using a lubricant can make sexual activity more comfortable. Knowing this among ourselves is one thing but many women ask whether there has ever been any research on these issues. Now, thanks to our study, there has!
Pure Romance has found that nine out of 10 (90%) women who used a Pure Romance lubricant felt that the lubricant made sex feel more comfortable. Plus, about 84% of women said that using these lubricants made sex feel more
pleasurable. Interestingly, about 60% reported an unexpected benefit – that using a lubricant made it easier
for them to have an orgasm. Overall, eight out of 10 (80%) women said that they would use Just Like Me,
Sweet Seduction, or Pure Pleasure again, and would recommend it to a friend.

Order Pure Romance Lubricants here

]]> http://www.katiethepureromancelady.com/wp_blog/the-lube-study/feed/ 1 http://www.katiethepureromancelady.com/wp_blog/when-hes-just-a-little-too-excited/ http://www.katiethepureromancelady.com/wp_blog/when-hes-just-a-little-too-excited/#comments Tue, 02 Jun 2009 00:06:00 +0000 Katie http://www.katiethepureromancelady.com/wp_blog/?p=25 Dealing with Premature Ejaculation…

Premature ejaculation is defined as “the occurrence of ejaculation prior to the wishes of both sexual partners.” So, there is no set time limit. Nothing that states – if your fountain turns on after 2 minutes that’s ok, but less 1:59 and we’ve got an issue. That means a lot more men have the condition than you probably think. If your partner climaxes before you are ready, that can be classified as premature ejaculation. This is one of the most common sexual dysfunctions for men under 40 and some researchers think PE could affect one in three men. If PE occurs during more than 50% of sexual encounters, treatment may be an option.

There are many causes of PE, including:

• Being in repeated instances where a man may have hurried to climax (think junior high, don’t want to get caught wacking off)
• Anxiety/Stress
• Abnormal hormone levels
• Thyroid problems
• Infection of penis or urethra

If you are dealing with a serious issue that is causing realtionship problems or is affecting sexual satisfaction, it is important to contact your healthcare provider who can provide medical treatment or refer you to a sex therapist. Two techniques that are often recommended by sex therapists are The Squeeze Technique and Stop Start Technique.

Squeeze Technique
1. Engage in sexual activity as usual until he feels like he’s ready to pop
2. Have him squeeze the end of his penis where the head joins the shaft and maintain the squeeze until the urge subsides
3. Wait about 30 seconds and start again with foreplay, not intercourse
4.Repeat this several times before finally allowing him to orgasm

Stop Start Technique
1. A man should start masturbating with a dry hand (or you can do it for him if you want to play too)
2.Vary stroking technique to prolong orgasm
3. When he feels close, back off and start again as he feels further from ejacualtion
4. Do this a couple of times a week and as you find him taking longer to orgasm, move to manual stimulation with lubrication
5. You know what’s coming, right? Move to oral stimulation using the same technique and eventually intercourse
6. It’s important not to engage in intercourse until he is ready. Mixing the stop start technique with regular intercourse will not allow the training to work effectively!

If you’ve just got a sometimes issue or you simply want to try something new, try Time in a Bottle. It’s a prolonging cream made with benzocaine to help even out the playing field.

Happy Humping!

For some women, the G-Spot is an area that can yield intense pleasure, others can take it or leave it and more than a few are still trying to find it. Whatever category you fall in, let’s make sure you’re well informed about the holy grail.

To find her Insert a finger into the vagina and move it up the upper wall of the vagina. There is an area of tissue about one or two inches inside on the upper wall of the vagina that feels noticeably different to the rest of the wall of the vagina. When a woman is sexually aroused, it swells and becomes smooth and soft. When her arousal drops, it becomes harder and feels more ridged. For a G-spot orgasm to occur, generally the G-spot will have to be smooth, relaxed and engorged.

G-spot simulation sometimes feel similar to “I gotta pee!”, which may last up to a minute. This is because the G-spot is so close to the bladder. You may be tempted to stop the stimulation because you think you might be going to urinate, but the feeling will change to a highly sexual pleasurable feeling, and the orgasm that follows can be deeper and more profound than a clitoral orgasm. Please keep in mind that not all women will find G-Spot stimulation pleasurable, so if you don’t like it go with what works! There is no law that says you must have a G-Spot orgasm to be successful in the sack!

If you’re trying this for the first time, have your partner place the heel of their hand over your clitoris and their fingers curved down and round to enter your vagina. If your partner makes a “come here” motion with the fingers that are inside you vagina, your G-spot should begin to respond and you may begin to feel pleasure. Try different motions: pressing, rubbing, thrusting at various speeds until you find what works for you. .

Let me know how it goes and feel free to email with any questions!

As we know, women are more complex. We have a wide array of erogenous zones, including nipples, ears, feet, etc. Typically, however, the zones that produce the most O’s are the vagina, the clitoris and the elusive G-Spot.

Here’s a little introduction to each of these pleasure zones:

CLITORIS:

• Its only physical function is to provide sexual pleasure
• Direct clitoral stimulation is is often less pleasurable than stimulation of the areas surrounding the clitoris
• The clitoris extends about 5 inches inside the body
• The clitoris packs about 8 to 12, 000 nerve endings, that’s as much an the entire penis and testicles combined.
• Most women claim that the clitoral orgasm is the most intense
• In his book Sexual Behavior on the Human Female (1953), Charles Kinsey found that out of 2700 American women, half received orgasm through clitoral stimulation

VAGINAL:

• Top one to three inches of the vagina is the most sensitive
• Many women claim that it is more difficult to achieve a vaginal orgasm than a clitoral one.
• Freud labeled this type of orgasm as the “mature” type, whereas the clitoral orgasm was an “immature” type of sexual experience (A General Introduction to Psychoanalysis, 1916)

It is important to note, however, that one type of orgasm is not better than the other – they are simply two different ways of experiencing pleasure.

Every woman has her own preference over which orgasm provides the best pleasure and an increasing number of women are learning to have both!

Tomorrow, we’ll venture down the road to the holy grail-the G Spot Orgasm.

It’s tame, but it’s a natural starter because of strong eye contact, says Kerner. “But men often ejaculate faster because of the friction.” To last longer and keep her happy, switch to a move that maintains clitoral pressure without so much thrusting.

Sit back and pull her toward you while you both lift your knees. “Physically, it allows her to feel a deeper, more intense, more intimate stimulation than missionary, with less friction,” says Candida Royalle, author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do.

Encourage her to turn around and face away from you. This creates G-spot stimulation for her, and the change will help you hold out longer. If she seems uncomfortable on top, resume the spider or try the spork, two natural transitions

“It’s the most arousing position for men, because it’s the most primal,” says Linda Banner, Ph.D., author of Advanced Sexual Techniques. The angle also allows for deeper penetration, which ups your chances of stimulating her G-spot.

Grab a pillow and enjoy a little downtime. “Lay the woman on her stomach with the pillow under her hips so her pelvis is angled and you have a better chance of hitting her G-spot,” says Banner. Extend your arms to keep the weight off her.

Here’s another move that maintains intimacy. Simply lean back and gently pull her on top. “This can help women feel in control,” says Sarah Janosik, a sex therapist and cofounder and clinical director of the Austin Center for Sexual Medicine.

Similar to spooning but slightly more ambitious, this position makes a natural bridge to more creative positions. “If she’s limber enough, he can also lift her leg, thus increasing penetration,” says René Hollander, Ph.D., a sex therapist.

Once past the basics, positions become “more about psychological novelty,” says Kerner. Doggy-style is about your dominance, but from there you can naturally transition into this rear-entry position that puts her in the driver’s seat.

Move logically between positions to increase her arousal.

• The latest research comes from Australia. A study led by Graham Giles of The Cancer Council Victoria in Melbourne concluded that the more men ejaculate between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to develop prostate cancer. Other research shows that regular male orgasm can also help prevent a condition called nonspecific prostatitis, which causes painful urination.
• Serious research on sexuality began in the U.S. in the 1950’s with Alfred Kinsey and his famous Kinsey reports. Kinsey reported that sex reduces stress, and that people who have fulfilling sex lives are less anxious, less violent and less hostile.
• In the 1970’s, a study at Duke University found that the frequency of sexual intercourse for men was associated with lower death rates, and that the enjoyment of sexual intercourse by women was associated with a longer life.
• Similar conclusions were reached in a study done in Caerphilly, Wales, and published in the December 1997 British Medical Journal under the title, “Sex and Death: Are They Related?” The authors studied nearly 1000 men aged 45 to 59. The study found that men who reported at least two orgasms a week at the time of the study had less than half the risk of dying from various causes over 10 years of follow-up than those with a lower frequency of orgasm.
• A 1976 study published in Psychosomatic Medicine suggests that a failure to reach orgasm may have a negative impact on women’s hearts. In the control group, just 24 percent of the women reported sexual dissatisfaction. In the group of women who had heart attacks, the report of sexual dissatisfaction prior to their attack was 65 percent.
• A study from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality conducted by Dr Ted Mcllvenna looked at the sex lives of 90,000 American adults. He found that sexually active people take fewer sick leaves and enjoy life more.
• According to gynecologist Dr. Dudley Chapman, orgasms boost infection-fighting cells up to 20%. Psychologists at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that students who had regular sexual activity had a third higher levels of immunoglobin A, an antibody that boosts the immune system and can help fight colds and flu.
• Research done by Dr Winnifred Cutler, a specialist in behavioral endocrinology, indicates that women who have intercourse at least once a week are more likely to have normal menstrual cycles than women who are celibate or who have infrequent sex.
• Dr. Cutler also reports that women who enjoy regular weekly sex have significantly higher levels of estrogen in their blood than women experiencing either infrequent sex or no sex at all. The benefits of estrogen include a healthy cardiovascular system, lower bad cholesterol, higher good cholesterol, more bone density, and supple skin. There is also growing evidence that estrogen is beneficial to brain functioning.
• Another important hormone that seems to be affected by sexual activity is DHEA. Right before orgasm, the level of the hormone DHEA in the body spikes to several times higher than normal. DHEA is believed to improve brain function, balance the immune system, help maintain and repair tissue, promote healthy skin, and possibly improve cardiovascular health.
• Both testosterone and estrogen levels increase through regular sexual activity. Testosterone can help strengthen bones and muscles, and is also beneficial to a healthy heart. For women, the health benefits of estrogen include keeping vaginal tissues suppler and protecting against osteoporosis and heart disease.
• A study from the South Illinois School of Medicine found that having an orgasm could cure migraines. Working with 52 migraine sufferers, 16 reported considerable relief after an orgasm and another eight had their headaches completely gone.
• Other studies show that orgasm can help treat other types of pain. In research by Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk at Rutgers University, women found that they had a higher pain threshold through regular orgasms that helped with conditions ranging from whiplash to arthritis.
• A man’s orgasm can even be beneficial to women, according to research that indicates that semen can reduce depression in women. Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at the State University of New York, headed the study. The researchers believe that mood-altering hormones in semen are absorbed through the vagina.
• Regular orgasms can even help you look younger. According to research done by David Weeks, a clinical neuro psychologist at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, making love three times a week in a stress free relationship can make you look 10 years younger.

Katie The Pure Romance Lady

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